I Saw A Unicorn in My Kitchen
I was supposed to have my Spanish final today but Satan decided to send me a healthy portion of fucking shit to hamper my efforts.

Last night at 3am i decided that i couldnt trust my body enough to wake up at 8am. So like any normal severely underacheiving college student i decided it was best for me to pull the infamous "all nighter". Forgetting I'm the biggest vagina this side of US 19, I set up a rigid schedule that would allow for maximum Spanish content absorbtion until the wee hours of the morn'. It was the best; not only could i study, but i could enjoy the finest mp3 collection and fruits the Gainesville area had to offer. Everything was peaches. But as you all know, every good time comes to an abrubt halt when you see a unicorn in your kitchen. Yes, thats right A UNICORN.

Little did i know this was the start of the worst day of my life...

(I'll finish this TRUE story when i recover tommorrow [Friday])

Fuck hair.
So I've decided that when fall comes around I'm cutting my hair and going back to the "I'm a douche and I gel my hair look."

Originally I grew my hair out just to have some fun. You know, its college! But what I didn't expect was to get treated like some hippie-fuck everywhere I went. Take for example yesterday. My beautiful mother and I went to Best Buy to buy a desk. Unfortunately Best Buy didn't have the desk I wanted on the shelf so I had to ask a "friendly" and "helpful" employee. As I approached these three "friendly" and "helpful" male employees (that were huddled up staring at some skank ass skank shopping), I said, "Excuse me, do you know if I can get someone to help me out in the furniture department?" Suddenly they all stopped staring at the blonde in CD's and started to stare at me like I just punched a kitten. You know that look when people judge you and you wish a roof tile would fall from above and somehow make them sterile for life? Well, yeah, I was feeling that.

So yeah, in fall, its gone. Maybe then I can get back to walking in straight lines and not screaming in public about strainds being in my retna. Bleh.